Checking in.
May. 29th, 2019 08:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
willowmegI keep forgetting that Dreamwidth isn't just an account I keep in order to follow my favorite fanfic authors...maybe I ought to actually record some thoughts once in a while, huh?
So, there's been a major change in my life recently. I don't mean the new house, although that IS a major change for the better - we've lived there a little over a month now, and while daily routines are becoming more settled and comfortable it still feels oddly like being on extended vacation - but something a little more personal...
That sounds a little strange to say to people because I am neither a) gay, or b) a man; I usually just tell people I'm an Ally Member. There are at least 2 or 3 other Allies singing in the chorus this season (one of them male!), a handful of lesbians, and a smattering of lovely trans men and women. So despite my near-crippling bout of impostor syndrome, as it turns out, I fit in just fine! I've been a season ticket holder attending almost every performance for the past 10+ years - besides being close friends with 3 chorus guys and well-acquainted buddies with 5 or 6 others, a lot of the group already recognized my face. (Apparently I'm sort of a standout, in the audience of smaller shows like the Christmas performances, where the singers can see audience faces - my huge ecstatic grinning, occasionally to the point of tears, gets me noticed, haha!) From the very first rehearsal, the guys (and gals) of the CGMC were super welcoming and friendly...and by the time I'd sung with them for a few weeks, I started to really believe that I was genuinely liked. (like I said, impostor syndrome! But you know there's a difference between being nice and welcoming to the newbie you don't know, and being genuinely happy to be around someone.)
I hadn't done any structured musical participation since college 20 years ago, and even then I'd always been a woodwind player, not a singer - my choral experience is limited to 5th grade choir, the small amount of required singing during Interlochen Arts Camp when I was 15, and a compulsory chorus during my 8 week Carnegie Mellon University music camp when I was 16. That, plus the 20 year gap since I'd had to read music, left me wondering if I would be able to adjust to reading TTBB scores on the fly. Well, whaddaya know - turns out I'm pretty good at it after all! I'm having SO much fun! And my nearly obsessive hard work in practicing has got me off-book ahead of schedule on 90% of the memorization. One of the "star tenors" who happened to sit by me one week gave me slight side-eye as I marked my music with a mistake I'd made - I'd caught myself doing a rhythm wrong, and obviously he'd heard my slip too - but when I did the next two songs without even looking down, while he read off his music, he muttered "wow, you know your stuff better than I thought" and that made me all warm and fuzzy inside. :D
I even auditioned for a solo! But not on the first go-round, the day of in-person auditions; I felt it would be seen as presumptuous for the straight lady to barge into the chorus and demand solo time, LOL. (Again. Impostor Syndrome.) But there was one brief, minor solo that didn't get assigned, and the director put out an email last week requesting video submissions. Video, I felt comfortable enough with. He was supposedly going to announce who'd got the solo at rehearsal this past Monday, but then didn't - so I'll have another week of wondering, I suppose.
All in all [my part of] the show is 16 songs, one of which will be performed along with the Columbus Women's Chorus (*who would very much like me to shift to singing with THEM after this show, since their director was also present at my initial vocal placement, and I'm still not sure what I plan to do because I love this group but it's a LOT of work, BUT I tend to get along way better with guys than women?? so idk) and also with the Capital University Pride Band drumline, all taking place on the amphitheatre at my alma mater where I spent 4 years performing. At least 4 or 5 of those songs involve fairly serious choreography, and THAT is a challenge omg. I'm so fat and out of shape!! and my left knee has suddenly decided that nope, it's not on board with all this kneeling-and-getting-up and dipping and bouncing. Ugh. I've managed to find workarounds for most of the moves that really hurt me so far - except the kneeling and getting up, which I'll just have to deal with. I may be stubborn, but I REFUSE to let myself be one of the people standing in the back row of the chorus or stuck on the sidelines to sing, just because they're too old/infirm/immobile to move around. If I'm going to do this I'm going to do it RIGHT dammit. (owwww.)
Matt introduced me around to the group as "my costumer!", pointing out that I was the one who made his tear-away toga, his sequined polo, his Vegas showman's vest, his 60's tasseled string vest and his paramilitary unicorn hoodie for past shows - so I have a reputation to uphold. I'm not making my own costume for this show, but I am assembling a fairly elaborate disco vest for him, as well as re-doing a pair of way-too-long bell bottom jeans he originally had made by another friend. The vest has a loud paisley back panel, paired with sparkly crochet front and side panels; right now I'm up to working on the side panels, then I can move on to the lining, the bottom trim and finally the full assembly.
I have approximately 3.5 weeks to get it done...and in that time I'll have 4 preview performances, 1 parade march, 3 extra long regular rehearsals, 2 intensive staging rehearsals at the venue, 2 Mid-Ohio Knitting and Crochet Guild meetings, 1 MOKCG retreat day/potluck, and also my brother and his new wife and stepkids are moving into their new home (with our help unloading of course) here in Columbus this Saturday. I'm also still trying (in fits and lazy starts, at this point) to make headway on the remaining settling tasks in the house: figuring out where all the Stuff goes and where it can't go, painting the last remaining areas (all the rooms are painted except for the basement and the basement half-bath, but there are two main hallways yet to do - I spent last Sunday doing the trim in the longer hall, we'll see if Greg is able to get the roller work done soon), solving stupid fiddly little problems like how to keep the garage door opener near enough to the back door that I actually remember to close the garage after returning home and how to organize the freezer so that things fit AND we can make ice.
Whew.
Also I should probably do something about my long-ass sentences. :D
Anything else? No? Let's consider me checked in, then. As you were.
So, there's been a major change in my life recently. I don't mean the new house, although that IS a major change for the better - we've lived there a little over a month now, and while daily routines are becoming more settled and comfortable it still feels oddly like being on extended vacation - but something a little more personal...
That sounds a little strange to say to people because I am neither a) gay, or b) a man; I usually just tell people I'm an Ally Member. There are at least 2 or 3 other Allies singing in the chorus this season (one of them male!), a handful of lesbians, and a smattering of lovely trans men and women. So despite my near-crippling bout of impostor syndrome, as it turns out, I fit in just fine! I've been a season ticket holder attending almost every performance for the past 10+ years - besides being close friends with 3 chorus guys and well-acquainted buddies with 5 or 6 others, a lot of the group already recognized my face. (Apparently I'm sort of a standout, in the audience of smaller shows like the Christmas performances, where the singers can see audience faces - my huge ecstatic grinning, occasionally to the point of tears, gets me noticed, haha!) From the very first rehearsal, the guys (and gals) of the CGMC were super welcoming and friendly...and by the time I'd sung with them for a few weeks, I started to really believe that I was genuinely liked. (like I said, impostor syndrome! But you know there's a difference between being nice and welcoming to the newbie you don't know, and being genuinely happy to be around someone.)
I hadn't done any structured musical participation since college 20 years ago, and even then I'd always been a woodwind player, not a singer - my choral experience is limited to 5th grade choir, the small amount of required singing during Interlochen Arts Camp when I was 15, and a compulsory chorus during my 8 week Carnegie Mellon University music camp when I was 16. That, plus the 20 year gap since I'd had to read music, left me wondering if I would be able to adjust to reading TTBB scores on the fly. Well, whaddaya know - turns out I'm pretty good at it after all! I'm having SO much fun! And my nearly obsessive hard work in practicing has got me off-book ahead of schedule on 90% of the memorization. One of the "star tenors" who happened to sit by me one week gave me slight side-eye as I marked my music with a mistake I'd made - I'd caught myself doing a rhythm wrong, and obviously he'd heard my slip too - but when I did the next two songs without even looking down, while he read off his music, he muttered "wow, you know your stuff better than I thought" and that made me all warm and fuzzy inside. :D
I even auditioned for a solo! But not on the first go-round, the day of in-person auditions; I felt it would be seen as presumptuous for the straight lady to barge into the chorus and demand solo time, LOL. (Again. Impostor Syndrome.) But there was one brief, minor solo that didn't get assigned, and the director put out an email last week requesting video submissions. Video, I felt comfortable enough with. He was supposedly going to announce who'd got the solo at rehearsal this past Monday, but then didn't - so I'll have another week of wondering, I suppose.
All in all [my part of] the show is 16 songs, one of which will be performed along with the Columbus Women's Chorus (*who would very much like me to shift to singing with THEM after this show, since their director was also present at my initial vocal placement, and I'm still not sure what I plan to do because I love this group but it's a LOT of work, BUT I tend to get along way better with guys than women?? so idk) and also with the Capital University Pride Band drumline, all taking place on the amphitheatre at my alma mater where I spent 4 years performing. At least 4 or 5 of those songs involve fairly serious choreography, and THAT is a challenge omg. I'm so fat and out of shape!! and my left knee has suddenly decided that nope, it's not on board with all this kneeling-and-getting-up and dipping and bouncing. Ugh. I've managed to find workarounds for most of the moves that really hurt me so far - except the kneeling and getting up, which I'll just have to deal with. I may be stubborn, but I REFUSE to let myself be one of the people standing in the back row of the chorus or stuck on the sidelines to sing, just because they're too old/infirm/immobile to move around. If I'm going to do this I'm going to do it RIGHT dammit. (owwww.)
Matt introduced me around to the group as "my costumer!", pointing out that I was the one who made his tear-away toga, his sequined polo, his Vegas showman's vest, his 60's tasseled string vest and his paramilitary unicorn hoodie for past shows - so I have a reputation to uphold. I'm not making my own costume for this show, but I am assembling a fairly elaborate disco vest for him, as well as re-doing a pair of way-too-long bell bottom jeans he originally had made by another friend. The vest has a loud paisley back panel, paired with sparkly crochet front and side panels; right now I'm up to working on the side panels, then I can move on to the lining, the bottom trim and finally the full assembly.
I have approximately 3.5 weeks to get it done...and in that time I'll have 4 preview performances, 1 parade march, 3 extra long regular rehearsals, 2 intensive staging rehearsals at the venue, 2 Mid-Ohio Knitting and Crochet Guild meetings, 1 MOKCG retreat day/potluck, and also my brother and his new wife and stepkids are moving into their new home (with our help unloading of course) here in Columbus this Saturday. I'm also still trying (in fits and lazy starts, at this point) to make headway on the remaining settling tasks in the house: figuring out where all the Stuff goes and where it can't go, painting the last remaining areas (all the rooms are painted except for the basement and the basement half-bath, but there are two main hallways yet to do - I spent last Sunday doing the trim in the longer hall, we'll see if Greg is able to get the roller work done soon), solving stupid fiddly little problems like how to keep the garage door opener near enough to the back door that I actually remember to close the garage after returning home and how to organize the freezer so that things fit AND we can make ice.
Whew.
Also I should probably do something about my long-ass sentences. :D
Anything else? No? Let's consider me checked in, then. As you were.
